Recently a fan wrote into Dead Spin wondering if it was time to reboot the prequels, this is what blogger Drew Magary had to say:
I don’t know what the fine print is on the contract George Lucas signed with Disney, but I would assume that $4 billion bought the “white slavers” full control of pretty much everything, much to Lucas’s chagrin. They can do whatever they want now, old man! SUCK IT! Watch them slit Jar Jar’s throat in front of your grandchildren just to make them cry! YOU CANNOT STOP IT.
Anyway, Disney could probably remake the prequels if they wanted to, which they SHOULD. I know it’s not a priority right now, because they’re making the new trilogy (plus the spinoff movies and TV shows and webisodes and puppet documentaries), but they’ve already proven they can make a Star Wars movie that looks and feels and sounds like the old classics: weird creatures in homemade costumes, beat-up spaceships, villains with cool voices, dialogue I like reciting to myself while taking a shit, etc. The prequels lacked all of those things, and their continued existence dilutes the LEGACY OF THE SERIES, which is super important to people like me who have ZERO perspective in life. Also, the fact that prequel shit still infects Star Wars merch and books and toys cannot stand. I would like all traces of Naboo obliterated with a literal Starkiller death ray.
So, somewhere down the line, Disney should (if they haven’t already) make a plan to reboot the prequels and erase the old ones from history. What if Anakin Skywalker were actually played by TOM MOTHERFUCKING HARDY, and instead of being a whiny dipshit pod-racing bro, he was actually a Jedi Academy bully who sabered little Jedi boys for their power converter money? KABOOM. Another billion dollars. Someone get the Coen brothers to write that shit.
(By the way, there’s a whole lot of people out there bitching that the new movie is too much like the first Star Wars movie, which is amusing, because the first Star Wars movie itself took its plot from ANOTHER movie. Originality is overrated. I’d rather watch a movie that steals from something good than an “original” movie that’s fucking terrible. That’s especially true of Star Wars, where all I really give a shit about is the look and the dialogue and the characters. They nailed ALL of that, and that’s no small feat. So bitch all you want for some magical unicorn movie out there that borrows from nothing at all. It doesn’t exist.)